Heaven Forbid
by FiveForFighting09
Summary: Today was the worst day of Greg's life, but at one point in time, it had been the best. He never told anyone about today, but this year is different. This year, Grissom is about to find out why. AU.
1. Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

**The Could Have Beens.**

No pairings, and no slash. I'm pretty sure this story is only going to be no more than 10 chapter, most of which are already written. This is AU. Quotes from a band called Brand New.

* * *

_We kept it safe and slow.  
The quiet things that no one ever knows._

"Greg?"

"Greg?"

"GREG!"

Greg lifted his head from the table on which it currently had been resting on and glanced at the two people who were standing in front of him.

"Yeah?" he said, counting down the minutes till he could go home.

"You feeling okay?" Sara asked, worrying about her friend.

_That's a loaded question,_ Greg thought as he opened his mouth to answer but was cut off by Nick talking.

"Yeah Greggo, you don't look so good," Nick added, "We were going to invite you come have breakfast with us later this morning but I'm pretty sure you should go home…now."

Greg waited for a moment to make sure no one would cut him off. "I'm fine guys just…tired I guess."

Nick and Sara gave the level one CSI agent a searching look before wishing him a good rest of the day and leaving the break room.

_Good, _Greg thought, _Maybe now everyone will leave me alone and this horrible day can end quickly._

"Greg," a voice traveled down the hall and into his ears, "Come here for a sec."

Greg sighed heavily, not wanting to move from the spot he was currently sitting in. He had to be careful, he thought, not many people knew what today meant for Greg and he wanted to keep it that way.

"You feeling okay?" were the first words out of Catherine's mouth when he met with her in the DNA lab.

_No, I'm not feeling okay. Actually, if you don't mind me saying, I hate today. In fact I wish that this day, no this whole month would cease to exist and that we could go through the whole year without ever having to pass through the month of July._

"I'm fine," Greg finally said, "Just tired."

Once again he received the same look he had gotten from Nick and Sara only this time he received it from Catherine. It seemed that ever since he had killed that boy with his car, everyone-

"Then maybe you should go home and get some rest," Catherine suggested.

-treated him like a baby.

"No," Greg said, this time a little more forcefully, "I'll be fine. Now, what do you need?"

"I was just going to tell you that the blood on are DB came back and it looks like we have a match to the lady's young son, also found dead at the scene."

"That's great," Greg tried to add some real excitement to his voice.

"Yep, so far this is looking more like a murder-suicide by the second," Catherine added, not realizing how uncomfortable Greg was becoming.

"That's good Cath," Greg said, "I-um-I'm going to get some fresh air if you need me."

Catherine just nodded her head and continued looking at the sheet of paper in her hand.

Greg left the room as quickly as he could.

_Unlucky. That's all you could call it. He lived in a town where luck could be the best thing to have and he didn't have it. Out of all the cases he could have gotten today, out of all the days in the year, he'd gotten this case today. Especially a case involving a mother and her young son. And an added bonus? The little boy who they had found dead in his bed had looked so much like Na-_

"Oh uh Grissom, I'm sorry I-uh- I didn't see you there."

"I've been standing here for the past thirty minutes Greg," Grissom said giving the young man a quizzical look.

"I know and I'm sorry I just," Greg looked around using all his will power to hold the tears, that were threatening to fall, in, "wasn't looking I guess."

"Greg are you-"

"I'm fine Grissom!" Greg nearly yelled, and then quickly walked towards the stairs. He couldn't handle another look of pity. Not right now anyway.

"-crying?" Grissom finished his sentence when Greg was well out of earshot.

Grissom knew something was wrong. Not because he had a perfect insight into human emotions, heaven knew he was probably the last person qualified for what he was about to do, but he knew that Greg rarely ever rose his voice in anger and Grissom was pretty sure he's seen tears about to fall from the CSI's face.

_Oh man,_ Grissom thought as he slowly walked towards the stairs in which Greg had ascended not to long ago. He sincerely hoped for both he and Greg's sakes, he had not bitten off more than he could chew.

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Please review, next chapter should be up soon.


	2. Oh Yeah Life Goes On

_Oh yeah life goes on  
__Long after the thrill of livin' is gone_

A few minutes later Grissom found Greg on the rooftop, standing very close to the edge.

Now that he'd finally caught up with Greg, Grissom had no idea what to do. Like always, Grissom was already playing the choices out in his mind. He could do:

A) Sneak up on Greg, grab him and pull him very, very far away from the edge and drag him down stairs and then demand to know what was wrong.

B) Announce his presence by word of mouth or by stepping loudly before he approached Greg.

C) Do neither A nor B but stand here and wait for Greg to acknowledge his presence or finally,

D) Walk calmly over to Greg and hope that the boy does not go over the edge.

Grissom had finally decided on option D when Greg's voice rang out.

"Why did you follow me?" Greg whispered, not even turning around and facing Grissom.

"You aren't fine Greg, I had to make sure that you were okay," Grissom said, walking closer to Greg, "I guess I was right though, seeing you there."

A shudder past through Greg's body and Grissom knew it was either from fear or sadness. Although it was the middle of the night in the Las Vegas, they did in fact live in the middle of the desert. It probably wasn't cooler than 85 degrees right now.

Greg shook his head softly, whatever he was thinking he did not voice it in words.

"Greg, don't-"

"You'd think I'd actually jump Gris?" Greg asked, turning and facing his boss for the first time since Greg had acknowledged Grissom's presence.

"Greg, you were almost crying downstairs and I come up here to find you standing on the edge of a building, looking down. That would cause a bit of concern in most people," Grissom said looking at Greg.

"Yeah, but you're not most people. You're Grissom."

Greg looked at Grissom for a few more moments before turning his back on him once again.

"You know," Greg said, his voice quiet and remorseful, "When they were hitting me," he paused, all the pain of that night flooding his memory, "There was a second when I though I was a goner, I mean, 'never going to open my eyes and see the world' goner. I'd seen the other guy they had killed and I imagined what my face would look like when you guys finally found me. But that wasn't even the scariest part."

The way this story was going, Grissom was starting to like it less and less. He was also becoming more and more uncomfortable having Greg so close to falling.

After the brief pause, Greg took a deep breath. He'd never wanted to tell this to anyone, no one knew about his past, but right now, Greg felt more vulnerable than he had in a long time.

"The scariest part Gris, was that I was okay with it. I remember wanting to die and there has only been two other times I've felt like that before. I-I-I was so scared after I felt that Grissom. I was so scared."

"Greg I-"

"Who wants to die Grissom?" Greg asked, his voice raised, looking back at Grissom, the tears flowing from his eyes once more, "I know a healthy person doesn't think like that, in fact, most psychos don't think that way. What would that make me then?"

The last question seemed to be more of Greg talking to himself that actually asking Grissom. Suddenly, Greg shifted his weight and almost gave Grissom a heart attack. _Stay calm, stay calm,_ Grissom kept repeating to himself. He had to stay calm. For Greg's sake as well as his own.

"Greg please step away from the edge," Grissom said softly, as if he were talking to a small child.

"Oh," Greg said, "Don't' worry about that, I don't think I would have the guts to jump, although I have thought about it. But that was a long time ago."

"Greg," Grissom said, almost pleading, "Please."

In one quick motion Greg stepped away from the edge, all the while not turning around and facing his boss.

Grissom took a few steps closer to Greg and gently laid his hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"It's going to be okay Greg," Grissom whispered, not knowing what was wrong but believing that it would be okay.

"No Grissom," Greg said turning around, his eyes watery, "You don't understand, it hasn't been okay for a long time. I don't see that changing any time soon."

And with that, the tears started to flow and heart-wrenching sobs came from Greg's mouth as he leaned on the man, who he saw as a father, and cried.

And Grissom could do nothing but hold the boy, who he saw as his son, and wait for the tears to stop.

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**A/N: **Sorry that this chapter is alittle short. the next few will probably be bigger. Thank you all that reviewed or added my story. I was really surprised at home many people liked it. Most updates should come every other day. School for me starts next week and when that happenes the MOST time that will come in between each update is three days. I'm almost done with the next chapter so, please, keep reading and review. Oh, and the quote is from a John Cougar Mellencamp. 


	3. Hard Times You've Had Before You

_Hard times you had before you  
__I knew when I first saw you_

If you were to ask Greg how Grissom got him down the stairs, into his car, and inside Grissom's apartment, he'd never be able to tell you.

The only thing he vaguely remembered was Warrick asking Grissom if he was okay as they made their way outside the building. He didn't know what Grissom said in return and quite frankly, he didn't care. He was still consumed by his utter sadness for today, and his anger that it had to come once every year.

As they drove quietly in his car, Grissom really didn't know what to do. It had taken about ten minutes for Greg to stop crying, and another twenty to get him down the stairs and into his car.

Grissom pondered on what could be causing all this. Even when he'd seen Greg right after he'd almost been beaten to death, he hadn't cried so hard or so much and even then, it had been more about telling his parents that he'd almost died than anything else.

Grissom wondered if Greg had cried when no one was around. That wasn't hard to do, seeing how Greg lived by himself and how the team rarely saw him anywhere outside of work.

On the way home, Grissom had debated on whether or not to take Greg to his apartment or to Greg's.

In the end, it wasn't that hard of a decision, seeing how Grissom didn't know where Greg lived after he'd moved the fifth time since becoming part of the Las Vegas Crime Lab.

Grissom pulled into the parking space that was reserved for him and led Greg to the door. It seemed that after crying so hard for so long, Greg had no more tears left. His eyes were glazed over, as if his thoughts were so far away from Grissom's door and Las Vegas.

"You can sit on the couch," Grissom said, speaking directly to Greg for the first time since the rooftop. It was kind of hard to strike up a conversation when the person you were talking to didn't really respond.

Greg just vaguely nodded his head and sat down on one of Grissom's couches, his eyes still holding that same glazed expression.

Grissom went to the kitchen and poured Greg a glass of water. It was still pretty early in the morning, the sun hadn't risen yet, and Grissom figured Greg wouldn't be hungry.

Grissom walked over and handed the glass of water to Greg. Grissom knew he wasn't very good at this, but he did know he was a good listener. He just hoped that could be enough to help Greg.

A few minutes later, Greg was still sitting quietly on the couch, his eyes no longer glazed over.

His eyes were a bit red, but other than that, the only sign that he had been crying was the tearstains that ran all down his checks.

Greg took another sip of water. He knew that Grissom was only pretending to read a book on insect migration and was actually watching him.

After a few more moments, Greg decided to talk and he cleared his throat.

"Um…thanks Grissom," Greg nearly whispered, "I-uh-I didn't mean for that to happen. It just kinda did."

Grissom looked at Greg to show that he was paying attention. He didn't say anything though. Greg continued, "I know you're still suppose to be there so if-"

"I don't mind Greg." Grissom said, giving him the same look he'd given him when he visited him at the hospital, "You're well-being is always more important."

_Okay then, _Greg thought. He knew Grissom wouldn't leave, or let him leave, till he got some answers. So not really knowing what else to do, Greg decided to start closer to the end, instead of the beginning, because the end was much more easier to talk about than the beginning ever was.

And right now, Greg really wanted to take the easy way out.

"Holidays aren't that hard anymore," Greg said quietly. Although Grissom had a questioning look on his face, he wasn't opening his mouth, so Greg continued.

"They were at first I guess, but I really don't remember any of them. After he died, Michelle just kind of fell apart. He died in the summer so by the time Thanksgiving came around, Michelle or I couldn't find much to be thankful for so we just…didn't celebrate it. That first Christmas was the hardest too. There were no presents under the tree. Heck, I don't even think we bought anybody anything, including each other.

"Michelle didn't work while he was alive but afterwards, she worked at a small diner down the road, even though we didn't need the money. I was on a few scholarships with money left over and her parents and my grandparents paid for his medical bills and funeral," Greg took a deep breath and continued, "I had almost finished college by then. We were both from San Fran so I got a job and we moved closer to my school and got an apartment. We'd been staying with some of her family in Palo Alto but we'd been looking for a two-bedroom apartment for a long time but those were hard to come by cheap. After he died, we found a one-bedroom apartment pretty quick. It was by a bridge and he would have loved it. He always loved bridges."

It was then that Grissom spoke, "Who's 'he' Greg?"

Greg's thought quickly if he really wanted to tell Grissom who the 'he' was.

Finally, a lone tear fell down Greg's face and he looked Grissom in the eye as he spoke.

"His name was Nathan Hojem-Sanders," pause, "And he was my son."

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Yes I know, short chapter but i couldn't resist stopping it there. Dont' worry though, you'll find out the whole story in the chapters to come. See, cliffy's are so much mor fun when you the one actually writing it. Lol.

I'm so sorry this is coming a day late, I had it all ready yesterday and by the time my day ended, I was so tired, I din't even start my computer. Also, some things have come up recently but I'm certian I will have the next update for you guys Thursday.

Once again, please review, I'm always happy to read what you guys have to say. Also, the quote from the beginning came from a band called Asia.


	4. Tonight I'm So Alone

_Tonight I'm so alone  
This sorrow takes ahold_

Grissom was known to rarely show emotion, but in that instant, not even he could stop the look of utter shock and amazement that appeared on his face.

At first Grissom opened his mouth to say something, anything, to fill in the silence that had suddenly become so eerie.

"He was a bright kid Grissom," Greg said, and then yawned. It was then that Grissom realized how tired Greg looked.

"Greg," Grissom said, finally able to get his mouth to begin functioning again, "When's the last time you slept?"

Greg noticed how Grissom changed subjects. He decided that he would roll with it, not wanting to dig through the past anymore than necessary.

"Oh," Greg yawned again, "I haven't slept well all month. In fact," another yawn, "I haven't really slept at all since this Monday, I think it was. What was that the 23rd?"

"Greg, today's the 27th," Grissom said.

"I know that Grissom," Greg said, his eye lids getting heavier and heavier, "I don't think I'll ever forget what today is."

_Today is probably the day his son died, _Grissom thought. It was a hard thought to think, and Grissom tried to turn his mind towards other things.

"Greg, you need to get some sleep. You're body can only go so long without sleep."

"Oh," Greg said, "I've gone longer in fact-" Greg voiced paused as his eyes closed.

Grissom was about to get up when Greg opened his eyes a little.

"Grissom," Greg said, his voice heavy with sleep, "I know you changed the topic on purpose."

"Greg you need to slee-"

"No," Greg said, trying very hard to fight the darkness from consuming him, "That's not what I mean."

"Then what did you mean Greg?" Grissom wanted very much for the boy, _no not a boy, he's almost 33 for heaven sake, _to fall asleep.

"I meant to say," Greg eyes drifted shut but opened them again, this time only a few centimeter, "thanks." And with that, Greg's eyes closed completely and stayed shut.

Grissom stayed looking at Greg's sleeping face. How had himself and all his friends not know about this part of Greg's life?

Grissom's mind ran through the few things he knew at the moment.

1. Greg had had a son that had passed away.

2. Michelle was probably the son's mother and was no longer in contact with Greg.

3. Greg lived alone, had lived alone for as long as he'd known him, which would be seven years soon.

4. Greg did not like July 27th. The reason exactly, was still unknown.

5. Greg probably suffered like this every year but this had been the first year that anyone had actually noticed it.

Grissom walked to the kitchen and picked up the phone. He called the Crime Lab, and got Catherine on the phone.

"Hey Cath," Grissom said into the phone.

"_**Where are you Gil?" **_Catherine said on the other line, obviously worried.

"I'm fine, just fine," Grissom said. He contemplated whether or not to tell her about Greg. He also knew he could lie to her either.

"_**Is Greg with you?"**_ Catherine asked, _**"I haven't seen him in little over forty minutes I think."**_

"He's with me," Grissom said, his mind racing, "I took him home." _Not a lie, he didn't specify WHICH home he took Greg to._

"_**Is he okay?" **_Catherine asked, obviously concerned about her friend.

"Um, no," Grissom said, "He didn't' feel very well-," _not a lie, Greg really didn't feel well, not emotionally anyway, _"and he hasn't slept very well for awhile." _Also not a lie. He didn't have to tell her WHY he hadn't slept well for a while._

"_**Can I talk to him Griss?" **_Catherine asked, seemingly satisfied with Grissom's answers.

"He's asleep right now," Grissom said, looking back at a sleeping Greg who was almost in the fetal position on the couch, shivering every so often, "And I really don't want to wake him up. I'll call you in a few hours if anything else happens. I pretty sure he'll be okay soon. And if not, he and I both have a lot of vacation time."

Grissom heard distance voices on the phone. He figured them to be somebody on the night shift that had walked in to their conversation. By the sound of it, it seemed Catherine was filling them in on Greg.

"_**Alright Griss," **_Catherine finally said, _**"Make sure you keep him hydrated, and if he wakes up tell him we all hope he feels better."**_

Catherine didn't have to expand on who the 'we' was. Grissom knew without an explanation.

"Okay Catherine. I'll see you later today."

Catherine said her goodbyes and then they hung up the phone.

Grissom walked back towards the living room and grabbed a blanket off the other couch. He covered Greg's sleeping form with it and it seemed that Greg's form curled even tighter and his hands firmly grasping the soft material.

"Oh Greg," Grissom said, looking down at him, "What happened to you?"

_Don't leave me here so cold…_

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**A/N: **If you got confused when Grissom was talking to Catherine, it was over the phone, which I'm pretty sure I made clear. everything Catherine said was in **bold** and _italics_ so I'm pretty sure it wasn't that confusing...

And yes, it's late, but I kept my promise. I said thursday and by my clock, it's still thursday.

Okay, this was a filler chapter really, but don't worry, you'll learn alot more about Greg's past in the next chapter.

Alrighty then, thank you all who review, I really enjoy what you have to say about each new chapter. And please kept reviewing.

Fianlly, the quote from the beginning and end of this chapter are from the band called Skillet. Thanks.


	5. Holdin On To Sixteen As Long As You Can

_Holdin on to 16 as long as you can  
Changes come around real soon, make us women and men._

Greg's vision slowly came into focus. He didn't recognize his surroundings at first. It wasn't till he remembered what had happened in the hours that preceded his trip to Grissom's apartment. Then he remembered what day it was.

Greg closed his eyes again. Light was shining in from one of the kitchen windows so Greg knew it already past five, when the sun rose.

_Wait,_ Greg thought lifting his head up quickly, _What time is it?_

Greg looked at the clock. It was 6 o'clock in the morning. Meaning, he'd been asleep for four hours.

Greg did the math in his head and realized he still had enough time to make it. But he would have to leave now.

Greg got up quickly slipped on his shoes. For a second he forgot whose house he was in, until a voice rang down the hall.

"Greg?" Grissom called, "What's wrong?"

"I need to go," Greg said. He was frantic and his voice showed it. He was usually on the road already. He just hoped he wouldn't hit any traffic.

"Go where?" again Grissom's voice stayed calm and steady, not reviling any of the emotions that were going through his head right now.

"I just need to go," Greg said, his looked left and right, desperately searching for something, "Where are my keys? I need my keys Grissom!"

"I drove you here Greg, don't you remember?" Grissom said, taking a few more steps close to Greg, "What's wrong?"

"I just need to leave, or I wont make it," Greg said, his eyes showing Grissom that he was serious, even in his frantic state, "Please."

"Fine," Grissom said finally, "I'll drive you there."

"No, no, Grissom, you don't know the way," Greg said shaking his head.

"Fine then," Grissom's voice, calm and steady, was a contrast to Greg's nervous and shaking one, "You can use my car. You can drive, but I'm coming with you."

Greg opened his mouth to object but was cut off by Grissom.

"I'm not leaving you alone, Greg not after," Grissom paused, remembering what had happened and what he had learned only a few hours ago, "Not after what happened earlier."

Greg sighed. He needed to leave now and he really didn't have the strength to argue.

"Okay," he said quietly, "You can come."

Grissom nodded his head, "Alright Greg. Where are we going?"

Greg walked out the door followed by Grissom, who locked it and handed Greg the keys.

"Far away," Greg said, "That's why you wouldn't know where it was anyway."

Grissom looked at Greg. Greg seemed to avoid his gaze.

Greg was thankful that Grissom wasn't bringing up anything that they had talked about before he had fallen asleep. He would tell Grissom everything, but right now, Greg couldn't handle it.

He was just glad Grissom understood that much.

* * *

Grissom watched as the landscape rolled by. Greg hadn't spoken since the left Las Vegas city limits. Grissom vaguely wondered where Greg was going, but he knew if he thought about it too much, he would want to voice his questions, and at the moment, it didn't look like Greg could handle more questions.

"We need more gas," Greg said, when he pulled off the highway and into a small gas station, "This is the last one for a long time and you only have a fourth of a tank left. I'll be right back."

Greg got out of the car and disappeared into the gas station, coming out moments later with two water bottles and two sandwiches.

He handed one of each to Grissom and walked back toward the pump, where he began to fill up the car with gas.

He stayed out there, so Grissom didn't get a chance to say anything to him till they were back on the freeway, heading down I 15.

The car was silent, and Greg did nothing to fill the silence, like he usually did.

It stayed that way, for about an hour and a half when Greg suddenly started talking.

"I was fifteen when I met Michelle," Greg said suddenly that it partially shocked Grissom, "She was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. I was a freshman at the time. She was a freshman too. She'd transferred in from the east coast and she sat next to me in Chemistry.

"Her last name was Sandvik so I asked her if she was Norwegian," Greg laughed, "I don't know why I did it but I asked her that question right in the middle of the class when they teacher was talking. We both got detention for it.

"She got mad at me, but after that first detention, we became fast friends. Nothing happened at first. She dated other people, I dated other people, but we always made it a point to talk to one another.

"Then, that summer, I conjured up the courage to ask her out on a date. I remember she looked at me and started laughing. At first I was heart broken. The girl who was one of my best friends and whom I had liked since the moment I saw her was laughing at me. I was about to walk away too, when she caught me by the hand and gave me a kiss on the check. She said she had wondered how long it would take me to ask her. "

Greg gripped the wheel tighter and let one tear fall form his face, "Man let me tell you, I was on cloud nine. I had never felt so good in my life."

Grissom looked on. He didn't want to say anything. He watched as Greg switched lanes and merged onto I 40.

After a few moments of silence, Greg's grip on the wheel lessened and he continued the story.

"Every thing was going great. That summer was the best and when school started, we were still dating each other. Then one night, she came to my house. Her face was purple and swollen. I was so mad I almost went to her house and shot her dad with Papa Olaf's gun.

"When I realized that she was living with that kind of parent, a dad that hit her, I knew I had to get her out of there. I didn't care how I just knew that I loved her way too much to let her dad hurt her everyday.

"So, I talk to Grandpa Olaf about it. He and my Nana were my legal guardians at the time and I need his permission. He said yes, that he would let me marry Michelle. I had just turned 16 and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. By this time, it was already the end of our sophomore year.

"That next day, I told her. I guess she had felt the same way cause she accepted my offer. I went later that day, to ask her dad's permission. I swear, I was probably insane back then cause this guy was huge, and he was mad.

"At first, they wouldn't sign the papers for permission. That's when I told them I knew about him hitting Michelle. After that, her mom just started crying and convinced Michelle's dad to sign the paper.

"After that, she moved in with us. I guess her mom realized just had bad it had been for her and wrote a letter to Michelle about every month or so. About two months after we were married, we started our Junior year. Everyone looked at us funny, but frankly, we didn't care. I loved Michelle with all my heart and didn't mind the stares cause I knew she was were she belonged, in my arms, every night when we went to bed."

Greg stopped for a moment as he switched lanes, "We found out later that her dad went into rehab. He was also enrolled in anger management. It seemed Michelle's father's father, her grandfather, wasn't the nicest person growing up and that growing up like Michelle's dad did, there was a high chance he would be the same way. They said he just didn't know what else to do when he got frustrated. After finding that out, Michelle slowly forgave her dad for hitting her and her mom for letting it happen. It took me awhile longer, but I forgave them too.

"I had a job right after school. We were living at my Papa and Nana's house and I had been saving up to move to an apartment. The first payment took almost that whole month to save up. Michelle was still applying for a job so since I figured I could make the payment on my own, another income would give us the money for everything else we needed.

"She never found a job that month so she usually went to sleep before I got home. She was in track and they practiced in the morning. She had wanted to quit when we first got married but I told her that since I didn't play sports, we would be okay and that I didn't want her to give up a thing that she enjoyed doing.

"I worked in a lumbar yard then. When I was with my mom, she never let me play sports. Like I said, she would freak if I even got a nosebleed. I think I had over ten trips to the ER in a span of six months.

"Anyway, I was never a kid that liked sitting around doing nothing all day to I got a job at a lumbar yard to work off all the energy I had saved up all day. Even after I moved in with my Nana and Papa, I never had the heart to play sports, after my mom had been so adamant to keep me out of them all those years. The kids that worked there weren't allowed to go near any heavy machinery; we just did all the lifting, so I figured it was safe enough.

"One night, I come home to find Michelle not in the bed. I freaked. My first thought was that she was hurt, and that no one had called me yet. Then suddenly, I hear quiet sobs coming from our bathroom. I walked in to find her on the floor, crying."

Greg took his eyes off the road for a second and looked at Grissom, "I didn't know what was wrong. I was so scared cause I thought that one of her parents were hurt or worse, dead.

"That was the day she told me something that would changed my life forever," Greg paused and took a deep breath. Reliving the memories was a very hard thing to do, but he continued, "She was pregnant and we were only sixteen and in high school."

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**A/N: There you go. There's some of the story. Don't worry, in the chapters to come, Greg slowly but surely reavels more and more of his past.**

**Also, if any of you readers are still out there, please review. I always like hearing what you people think of the story so far.**

**Alright, so expect the next update no later than wednesday cause sadly, i'm starting school tomorrow and it'a going to be a hectic first few days so, bear with me.**

**Fianlly, the quote from the beginning is from John Cougar Mellencamp. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.**

**P.S. Does anyone know when the new season of CSI starts in the US??**


	6. Never Mind, Turn Back Time

_Never mind,  
Turn back time  
You'll be fine..._

Grissom was quiet after Greg's monologue. Greg was still driving and it had been about one hour since Greg had stopped talking. Neither occupant of the car had said much in the hour that followed and Grissom was thankful that he was normally not a heavy talker.

Suddenly, they passed a mile marker sign and Greg seemed to breath a sigh of relief.

Grissom turned and lifted an eyebrow, showing Greg that it would be nice to let him in on Greg's secret as to where they were going.

Greg saw this, out of the corner of his eye, and just shook his head.

"I was worried we wouldn't make it in time," Greg said, "From Las Vegas it takes us about eight and a half hours, without speeding. I usually make the trip in seven and a half."

"Where are we going Greg?" Grissom asked, speaking for the first time that hour.

"To San Francisco," Greg said offhandedly, "I was afraid we'd left to late to make it but we're okay. We've been traveling for about three hours and I've caught up to were I usually am at this time."

"Do you make this trip a lot?" Grissom asked, trying to get more information out of Greg but not wanting to push the man too hard.

"About twice a year," Greg spoke quietly, "I drive down here for Grandpa Olaf's birthday and I drive down today."

"Oh."

"Yeah," Greg said, "After my Nana died I tried to get Papa Olaf to moved to Las Vegas but he said that when he gets old and needs help, he'll consider it."

"How old is Papa Olaf, by the way?" Grissom asked. From what Greg had spoken of him, Papa Olaf seemed like an awesome fellow.

"He turns 75 in two months," Greg said, "I told him when he hits seventy-five that I'm dragging his butt to Las Vegas. He said he'd like to see me try, but he's kidding more than anything. We're the only family each other's got left and both he and I know it. I already have his room ready for him at my apartment."

"Greg whatever happened to you're-"

"Mom and dad?" Greg filled in, "Well my father worked at a shipping factory. One day, when I was about 13, a big cable that had been holding down a heavy piece of machinery on the boat snapped and hit my dad from behind. He died instantly and my mom just kind of went off the deep end after that. That's why I cried in the hospital Grissom. My dad died in July of that year and my mom died six months later in January. She died of a heart attack, at least, that's what my Nana told me."

Grissom could see one or two tears falling from his face. Greg wiped them away with his sleeve and ran one hand through his hair.

"That's why I didn't call my parents, Grissom, there was no one to call."

* * *

"I'm not very hungry, but if you are, then you can go get something while I fill up."

Grissom looked at Greg. He was doing it again, not that he blamed him. He was changing the conversation and avoiding eye contact as much as possible. The only other time Grissom could remember him doing that was right after the explosion, when he had walked in and had seen Greg's hand's shake.

Grissom got out of the car. It was odd, riding in a car with Greg for hours, having nothing but the radio to ebb away at the silence that seemed to be suffocating them both as Grissom learned more and more about Greg's pass.

They had traveled for another hour and a half, making their total travel time just under five hours. By Greg's standards, they still had two or three more hours to get to San Francisco, but that didn't take into account the time it would take to get to the place that Greg wanted to get to in San Francisco.

Greg said nothing when Grissom sat back down. He just looked at Grissom and started the car. He didn't seem tired in the least bit; the nap he'd taken earlier back at the apartment had probably helped.

It was probably thirty minutes back into the drive that Greg turned down the radio and started talking again.

"The months right after Michelle told me she was pregnant are a blur really. I remember that we both wanted to keep the baby. When we first got married, we talked about kids. I know that sounds funny, considering we were only sixteen at the time, but we did talk about if we wanted to have children and I said yes, and so did she. We just didn't think it be so soon.

"My Nana and my Papa took it real well. He told me he was proud that I had waited till after we had gotten married and that they would help us in any way they could. Of course, when her parents found out, the immediately wanted her to move back, but Michelle told them that even though she forgave them and loved them, she would never go back to live in that house. They accepted her answer I guess. There wasn't much they could do anyway.

"I remember when we found out that the baby was a boy. I immediately wanted to name the baby after my dad and Michelle knew how important my dad was to me and she liked the name Nathan anyway.

"When my grandparents became my legal guardians, social services had asked me and my Nana and Papa if we wanted to change my last name. At the time, it was only Gregory Sanders. I consider it for a while but in the end, we just added the name, Hojem, onto my last name. I loved my dad and I realized that keeping his name could be a way of never forgetting him.

"So, my real last name you could say it Hojem-Sanders, but I guess everyone always thought that it was a middle name so they just cal Sanders. So that's how my boy got his name."

Greg stopped there. Grissom didn't want to push Greg. He knew that Greg would tell him all he needed to know when he was ready, or able to, and Grissom was patient enough to just wait and let the young man compose his thoughts.

"I remember," Greg started again, "The day Nathan was born. I was in the room with Michelle and I remember I felt awful seeing her in so much pain and not being able to do anything to help. He was an average sized baby I guess, nice and healthy and boy, did he have one set of lungs," Greg laughed quietly and the memory, "But I loved it. I loved hearing him cry. Michelle said I was crazy but I just loved hearing him, hearing Nathan, my son, even if it was just a cry. Of course, there were times, like around 2 in the morning, when it wasn't a sound I necessarily wanted to hear, but I loved it just the same, and after he went on the bottle, I usually got out of bed when he woke up in the middle of the night."

Grissom dared to ask another question, "Who watched him while you were at school?"

"Huh?" Greg asked, "Oh, my grandparents did. They were both retired and I guess having to raise me beforehand made them a little younger by the time Nathan came around. I remember when he first started talking. He said Dada first, then Papa and them Mama and Nana. Papa Olaf and I use to joke that he already knew that men stick together. It's funny though. He had a really good vocabulary when he was two. He spoke like some four year olds we would meet and since he was big to begin with, he was always a foot taller than anyone in his pre-k class, they always mistook him for being older."

Greg paused. This was were it got harder to talk about.

"Nathan had just turned three and I was already in my second year of college. We had moved in with some family that was closer to Stanford and since I had a full ride, we didn't really have to worry about the money. Michelle had never really wanted to go to college and at the time, I didn't see that she needed to. I was studying DNA and chemistry, so really no matter what field I went into it paid pretty well.

"It happened one day when I came home from college. Nathan was inside, lying on the couch. He was unusually quiet, remember I told you he had big lungs, and I walked over to ask what was wrong. He just said that he was taking a break, that Papa Olaf had visited and had taken him to the park earlier and that he was just resting before he went to go play little league which started in about one hour.

"I didn't think anything of it and he was fine a few hours later when little league finished. He was talking a mile a minute and I was cracking jokes with him. I loved to hear him laugh, a point which he knew and always made it a point to laugh at my jokes, even when they weren't as funny as I would have hoped.

"Later that night, right before bed, I gave him a bath. I knew something was wrong the second I pulled off his clothes. When I pulled off his shirt, there were so many bruises covering his chest and back that at first I thought one of the kids had beaten him up."

Greg didn't say anything for a long afterward, till he finally spoke again, "Looking back, I really wish those bruises had come from some bully. Cause if they had, then Nathan would still be here. But those bruises weren't from a bully, Grissom. I missed class the next day and Michelle and me took him to his doctor. The moment the doctor order more test, I knew it was serious."

"After some blood work we found out that Nathan had Acute Childhood Leukemia, and he had ALL or Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia," Greg stopped, the sadness upon reliving those few moments was taken an emotional toll on him, "That was a hard day, Grissom. Little did I know that I would have harder days ahead of me."

* * *

A/N: Alright, I said no later than wednesday and currently, it is 11:29 pm Wed. sry it took some time but school and sports got in the way. Also, thanks to all of those for reviewed and I hope to hear from you again. Also, quote is from the band Breaking Benjamin. Finally, the next update should be ready for you either during the weekend or on monday. see you then.


	7. And Even When Your Hope Is Gone

_And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through_

Grissom nodded his head. It was hard, not asking questions, but he knew he should let Greg continue and go at his own pace.

"Um," Greg said, "We immediately started treatment. We explained to Nathan that there were bad things inside him that were making him very very sick and that the only way to kill the bad things was to put medicine inside his blood. He asked how they were going to put medicine inside his blood and we told him they would put an IV that would stay in his belly. He knew what an IV was, so that part wasn't hard. We also had to tell him that the bad things inside him didn't want to come out and that when they gave him the medicine, he would get very sick. He took all the information in. He understood there would be no more playing baseball and didn't complain. He was content, I guess, that we were going to be with him the whole time.

"It was hard the first time we went to the hospital. There were other kids there and Nathan asked if he would ever lose his hair too. I told him that might happen, but that if it did, I would shave all my hair off too so we could match. He seemed to think that was funny. After that, we signed Nathan in and we put him in a gown. The doctor and the nurses came in and explain what was going to happen. They told Nathan that he wouldn't feel it, that they'd give him a shot to make him sleepy. After that, the nurse walked over and gave Nathan a sedative. Within a few minutes, our little boy was fast asleep in my arms.

"After he fell asleep, I laid him down on the bed and they wheeled him away. Michelle broke down right then, and all I could do was sit there and hold her. We had to wait an hour till the doctor came to the waiting room and said that everything went well and that they had already scheduled an appointment for tomorrow morning for Nathan to begin his chemo. We agreed and the doctor explained how to take care of the catheter that was now in Nathan. He showed us the area, how to keep it clean and how to make sure that there was so swelling. After that, he walked us to the recovery ward and we stayed there till Nathan woke up a few minutes later."

Greg sighed and cleared his throat, "He didn't complain. Not even the next day when he started feeling sick. He just threw up in the bucket and never complained. That, and he always seemed to smile."

Greg turned and looked at Grissom briefly, "Can you believe that? Every month, day in and day out, he always woke up with a smile on his face. Even on his way to chemo. He knew he was going to get sick but he still smiled at all the nurses and at the doctor. Not once did he ever get mad."

Greg shook his head, "I don't think I could've done what he did Griss."

There was silence in the car then. Grissom was about to turn up the radio when Greg started talking again.

"It was three months before his forth birthday when he was declared 'in remission'. Me and Michelle were so happy, that we drove down to LA and took Nathan to Disneyland."

"It was quit a site, seeing that kid run through that park. He had no hair and he was as thin as a toothpick, but he had his energy back and boy, could that kid run. Besides running everywhere, I'm pretty sure he laughed that whole day."

Greg closed his eyes tight for a second, trying to stop the tears that were flowing again, "Oh, his laugh, Grissom, I wish you could have heard it. There was just something about it that put joy in you too, and made you laugh, for no reason at all. I miss hearing his laugh."

They didn't say anything after that. Grissom waited five minutes, and when Greg didn't say anything else, Grissom turned on the radio. Grissom would be lying to say that he didn't want to hear the rest of the story, but he knew Greg couldn't continue right now, and asking him too wouldn't be fair to him.

"Hold on," Greg whispered so faintly that Grissom almost didn't hear it.

"What-" but Grissom didn't get to finish his sentence when suddenly, the car lurched to the shoulder, scaring Grissom so bad that he gave a small yell.

Greg quickly put the car in park, unbuckled himself and opened the door, getting out. Grissom followed suit but stopped suddenly when Greg leaned over and threw up behind the car. Grissom looked at Greg, shocked at what he was seeing.

After a few more dry heaves, Greg wiped his mouth with a napkin and walked back towards the front of the car, retrieving a bottle of water, and rinsing his mouth out.

He then sat down, and produced another napkin, which he proceeded to wipe his face with. He then closed the door and leaned back into his seat, waiting for Grissom to get back into his.

Grissom sat back down and close his door, "Greg are you okay?" his voice soft with compassion.

Greg nodded, but didn't open his eyes, "I'm okay," he said, taking a deep breath, "This just happens sometimes."

"Greg, you don't look well," Grissom said, "I really think you are sick. Are you sure you don't want me to drive?"

Greg shook his head, "No," a breath, "I've made this trip many times alone and I've always been alright after a few minutes. I'll be okay."

_You should never of had to make this trip alone,_ Grissom thought as he gave Greg another once over.

After a few more moments, Greg opened his eyes and shifted the car into drive.

"Besides," Greg said, "You don't know where we're going and I don't want to give directions. Here," Greg said, tossing Grissom his phone, "Call in. We wont make it back in time for next shift. I usually take tomorrow and today off but I got called in."

Grissom started dialing the phone number to the front desk, when Greg interrupted him, "And Grissom? Could you please not tell them anything? Just count it as a sick day, or a vacation day. Heaven knows I have a lot of both and I'm pretty sure you do too."

Grissom looked at Greg, but after his last comment, Greg kept his eyes on the road.

* * *

**A/N: It's nearing the end folks. I surpirsed myself and i actually wrapped up the story in ten chapters. Um, thanks for all those who have review. Next chapter will be up Tuesday, then the one after that will be up on Thursday...I think. In any case, the story will be completed before Sat. Thanks for all those who have read this sory and I hope you enjoy the last few chapters.**

**P.S. Quote is from a band called All-American Rejects.**


	8. So I’ll Fade Away

_So I'll fade away  
Into another yesterday_

After Grissom had called in, nothing was said in the car. Grissom fell asleep for an hour or two and when he woke up, they were already in the San Francisco city limits.

"We'll be there in a few minutes, but I need to get something first," Greg said. He didn't turn to face Grissom, and his voice was dead, as if he was a guy that life had kicked one to many times.

"Okay," was all Grissom said.

A few minutes later, Greg pulled into a shopping center and parked in front of a floral shop.

He didn't say anything as he got out of the car, and didn't say anything when he returned with a handful full of flowers a few minutes later.

At first, Grissom thought that they were going to a cemetery but when Greg parked in a visitor parking by a bridge, Grissom didn't know if he should follow or not.

"You can come," Greg said, "This wont take long."

Grissom got out of the car and followed Greg up the walk way to where a few people had gathered.

Greg stopped at a particular spot and looked over the water.

"I use to take him here almost every day," Greg said, his voice a low whisper, "Everyday, even when he was sick. Michelle didn't come. It was just me and him."

Greg glanced at his watch, "We made it. It's exactly 2:34 p.m. I can't believe we made it."

Grissom didn't say anything. He just watched the water ripple as it passed under the bridge.

Greg didn't move for a few moments. He just stood there watching the water.

Grissom found this very upsetting. Here was the young boy who had first walked into the CSI Lab with a Mohawk and a bubbling personality. Now, he was looking at a young man who seemed to have the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"Like Atlas," Grissom said out loud, not realizing it till Greg looked at him.

"Yeah," Greg said, "That's how it fells sometimes."

Grissom's eyebrows raised in shock that Greg knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Greg-"

"Let's go Grissom," Greg stopped Grissom, "We just have one more spot to make. Then we go home."

Grissom didn't say anything, though he felt like he should, but followed Greg back to the car where they drove thirty minutes away to a quiet sub area. He pulled into a relatively small cemetery and parked the car.

"You can stay," Greg said, "No one's ever come with me before and I don't mind going alone. But if you want to come, then you can."

"I'll come Greg," Grissom said, lowering his tone of voice to match Greg's.

"Then let's go," Greg grabbed the flowers that were on the backseat and walked towards a tombstone, Grissom following his footsteps.

"Hey buddy," Greg finally said when they reached the tombstone that read _Nathan Hojem-Sanders. _

Only one date was underneath the name, and Grissom found that to be odd.

"Did he die today Greg?" Grissom finally asked the very question that had been gnawing at his mind all day, "Is that why you come down here every year?"

Greg looked up and shook his head, making no motion to wipe the tears falling form his eyes, "No, he didn't die today. Today, at exactly 2:34 p.m., Nathan would have been sixteen years old," Greg looked at Grissom, "Today's his birthday Grissom. He died on the 12th of July."

"Then why-?" Grissom stared.

"Then why hate today you may ask?" Greg asked. He continued without waiting for Grissom's answer, "Because, the day he died isn't that special to me. His birthday is the hardest, cause every year, I'm left with "the could have been's" Grissom. Like, today could have been his sixteenth birthday and in a few days could have been the day I bought him a car or it could have been the day I took him to go watch the _Transformers _movie cause he liked them. It could have been the day I took him out to get his driver's license. He could have been a big brother or he could have been an only child."

Greg stopped, "That's why I don't like today Grissom," Greg let a sob out, "Today he could have been alive, in my arms laughing, but he's not. And that's why "the could have been's" hurt so much. Because their "could have been's" and they're never going to happen."

"Never."

* * *

**A/N: Hello everyone. story's coming closer to the end, but don't worry, you'll find a few more things out. Okay, thanks to all who review, and to all those who didn't, I forgive you but please, I love seeing what you have to say about the story. Quote from beging is from a band called The Vanished. Alright, it's 10:30 and I'm already tired. See you next time.**


	9. Your Time Has Come To Change

_Hey Kid... Your time has come to change  
Though I need you more than I've needed anyone in any way tonight  
Hey Kid... I know it won't be long  
The Captain's calling...come to see you back where we belong_

"Can you drive us home Grissom?" Greg said, a few hours later, "I don't think I can make it this time."

"Okay Greg," Grissom said, helping him into the passenger's side, "I can get us home from here."

"Good," was all Greg said. He was exhausted, mentally and physically, but he owed it to Grissom to finish telling him the story.

"This has been one of the hardest years yet," Greg started as Grissom headed back towards the freeway, "The only one that was harder was the first anniversary of Nathan's birthday after he died. That was the year that no birthday cakes were made, no new presents having to be bought. That was also the first time Michelle disappeared for a few days. At the time, I didn't know where she had gone, but when she came home a few days later and I asked her about it, she wouldn't talk about it. Just told me that she was back and that she would never leave again. Of course, that was a lie cause every year, sometimes twice a year, she left for days on end and I had no idea where she went.

"Around that time, we moved to New York City. I couldn't stand being in San Francisco anymore. I had already graduated by then. I had been working at the San Francisco Crime Lab and before the move, I had applied to New York, Denver and Las Vegas. New York was the first to take me up on the offer of a DNA technician so we moved out there as soon as we could.

"We had lived there for I few months I think when one day, I came home from work and immediately knew something was wrong. Little things here and there were missing. I ran through the whole apartment searching for Michelle but I couldn't find her anywhere. I thought she was hurt, or worse, dead.

"It was then that I saw the note. It was sitting on the counter top. Michelle had written it. I remember it word for word. It said:

"_Dear Greg,_

_I will always love you, you can never forget your first true love, but you've changed and so have I. After Nathan died, you were so consumed with your work that it just wasn't the same. You never smiled, and you never laughed. It was as if you had died along with your son. I guess somewhere along the way you had._

_It was while you were working that I meet an old friend. He was in town on business and Greg, I'm ashamed to say that I slept with him during the time I disappeared around Nathan's birthday. I know that you would never do anything like that, but that still didn't stop me from seeing him Greg. It is only now that I have enough courage to tell you, if you could actually call it courage._

_He lives in South Carolina, and I've gone to live with him. Somewhere in the past few years, I've fallen for him and fallen out with you._

_I love you always Greg. You will always be the boy who talked to me when I didn't know anyone and the boy who gave me the most precious gift in life, my first-born. And please don't try to find me. I'm gone and I want to stay that way to forget that we ever happened. Cause maybe that way it will be easier to live with myself. I will send the divorce papers through my attorney._

_Michelle._

_I never meant to hurt you."_

"That's what she said," Greg said, "That she never meant to hurt me. Just like that, no second chances. She'd cheated Grissom. She'd cheated and not once had I ever thought about that. I mean, this was Michelle, the love of my life, and she had left me.

"It was on my bathroom floor that night that I almost swallowed a whole thing of sleeping pills. I was hurting so much. In little less than two years, I had lost my whole family. I was so close Grissom, that when I realized what I was doing, I threw up in the toilet and flushed the pills down the sink also. I just wanted to die, so bad. It hurt so much to think, much less think of the last months I had with Nathan."

"What happened to Nathan Greg?" Grissom asked," If he went into remission, then what happened to him?" Grissom was trying to be as gentle as possible with Greg.

Greg looked up and sighed, "Nathan had relapsed a few months after he went into remission and the doctors had said that if he relapsed, he probably wouldn't make it a few more months. And he didn't. He just kept getting sicker and sicker, and weaker and weaker. About three months before he died, we stopped the chemo. There was nothing that was going to save or prolonged his life. My son was dying and this time, I couldn't do anything.

"It was on the floor of my bathroom that I remembered his last words.

"_Daddy," Nathan's weak voice said as he curled up in his father's arms, "I think I'm going to be leaving soon."_

"_What do you mean buddy?" Greg said, although he knew in his heart what his little boy meant._

"_You know daddy," Nathan said, "You don't have to ask."_

"_Oh Nathan," Greg said, "What am I going to do without you? You can't leave me here. I'll miss you."_

"_Don't cry daddy," Nathan said, "I never liked to see you cry."_

"_But what else am I going to do Nate," Greg said, "Daddy's got nothing else to do but cry if you're gone."_

"_You can make people laugh, daddy," Nathan said, "Like you did with me."_

_Greg started crying harder at his little boy's words. It was nearing the end and Michelle wasn't here, having gone out. She'd said he goodbyes earlier, just in case she didn't make it back in time._

"_Promise me daddy," Nathan said, "Promise me you'll never stop making people laugh."_

"_But it wont be the same without you're laughter Nathan," Greg said, he was crying harder now, holding onto his son for dear life, "Please Nathan, don't go."_

"_I'll always laugh daddy, especially when you make other people laugh," Nathan quietly said, " Now promise."_

"_I promise Nathan," Greg said, "Please don't leave me buddy, not yet."_

"_I wont leave you daddy," Nathan said, "I'll always be right there." Nathan pointed to Greg's chest. _

"_Oh Nathan," Greg said holding his boy's hand to his chest, "I love you more than the air I breathe"_

"_And I love you more than you're arms can reach," Nathan said, smiling, his eyes slowly closing, "I love you daddy."_

"_I love you too buddy," Greg said, he was crying so hard it hurt to breath._

"_I know daddy," Nathan said as his eyes closed forever, "I know."_

_Greg held his boy closer as the life slowly slipped away from him. He held him and cried his heart out. And that's how Michelle found them, five minutes later when she walked into the house and called 911._

"I had forgotten Grissom, I had been breaking my promise," Greg said. "After that, I applied to Las Vegas. I don't know why but I did. A few weeks later I got a call from you and the rest as they say, is history."

"But why didn't you tell us Greg?" Grissom asked, "We could have helped."

Greg looked at Grissom for a moment before answering that question, "It never came up. I was keeping my promise Grissom. I was making people laugh again and it felt so good. When I make the whole team laugh, for a moment, I can almost hear Nathan's laughter, as if he's listening in, and laughing to give me the strength I need to go on. When that happens, I know I can make it through a few more days and I know that I'll see him someday Grissom."

Nothing was said after that and shortly after Greg fell asleep. It was close to midnight when Grissom drove by his house only this time, he was alone. Greg had woken up and directed him towards his new apartment, telling him that he would see him soon.

Right now, Grissom was still trying to catch his breath. So much had happened in less than 24 hours that Grissom didn't know what to think.

_I know I can make it through a few more days…_

That's what Greg had said. That he could make it through a few more days.

When he'd first arrived, Grissom would have never guest the young lad tech turned CSI had been so much in his short life. He seen so much and been through much more and he still trying to make everyone laugh, never once complaining.

Greg's words rang through Grissom's mind: _I don't think I could've done what he did Griss._

"Yes, you have Greg," Grissom said, thinking of his own "son" and smiling, "And Nathan would have been very proud."

* * *

**A/N: Well, this was suppose to be up two days ago but...life got in the way. Any who, this was originally going to be the last chapter, but...I've added one more chapter which is in it's final stages of being fixed. So, thanks everyone who reviews and the part with Nathan and Greg, I cried while I was writing that so...yeah. The quote from the begining is from the band called Five For Fighting. (yep. matches my name doesn't it?) **

**Please Review.**


	10. Epilogue: Heaven Forbid You End Up Alone

**A/N: Hello everyone. I'm sooooooo sorry this has taken so long to post. This ws originally suppose to be posted like a week and a half ago but things came up and just when I thought I was going to be able to post it, I started geeting these killer headaches. But everything is okay now so, here's the last part. Nostice i didn't say last part of this story. Nope, a sequal is in the works (FYI, I originally didn't plan for a sequal but just thank The Fray cause one of their songs inspired it.), but it probably will take longer to get it up and running because of school. **

**Once again, thanks to all of you who read and reviewed. I'm glad you enjoyed this part of the story. So, without further adeu, here's the epilogue...Oh, the song is from the band The Fray.**

* * *

Epilogue.

_Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why  
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow…_

Greg didn't go to work that day or the following day. He was right when he said he had a lot of vacation time. He took the next two weeks off, reason: unknown.

Grissom was worried about him, but when he drove by his apartment, the landlord said that Greg had moved out a few days ago, and that he hadn't left a forwarding address yet.

It wasn't till the end of those two weeks that Greg came back to work. As soon as he walked through the doors, he was bombarded by the whole team with questions on where he had been and what had happened. Only Grissom watched from a distance as Greg gave a faint smile and explained where he had been.

"I was moving my Papa Olaf into my new apartment," Greg said, "He lived in San Francisco and it took a long time to get him settled. I'll bring him to work tomorrow so you guys can meet him."

Everyone was satisfied with that answer, only Nick and Catherine asking him if he was still sick.

"A little," Greg said catching Grissom's eye, "but I think I'll be okay from now on."

Nick and Catherine looked at each other, then to Grissom who just shook his head. He wasn't going to tell them.

It was then that Greg opened his locker.

"Hey Greego," Nick said, glancing inside Greg's locker, "Whose that little boy on you shoulders in the picture? And why are your heads shaved?"

"That's my son," Greg said, "And his name was Nathan Hojem-Sanders," Greg smiled.

The whole team was shocked for a moment, but Greg immediately began talking again.

Grissom caught Greg's eye and saw that Greg was laughing through the faint tears that fell from his eyes, telling a story that was making the whole team laugh.

"_You gonna dye your hair yellow when it grows back daddy?" Nathan laughed at his dad who was rubbing his shaven head._

"_What do ya think? Should I go all crazy and make it look cool?" Greg said, glancing at his boy._

"_I think so," Nathan said, "I think that's a good idea."_

"_Hurry," Greg said, "Let's take a picture. I think mom will want this one forever."_

"_No daddy," Nathan said, "I want you to keep it. That way, you'll always know what you look like with no hair at all," just then Nathan started laughing._

"_I don't see what's so funny," Greg smiled, "You're head looks just like mine."_

"_Yes daddy," Nathan smiled back, "But I'm not the one who's going to have to tell mom why you don't have any eyebrows either."_

"_What?!" Greg yelled, reaching up to his eyebrows, or at least, where his eyebrows had been when he went to bed last night, "What did you do mister?"_

"_You said you wanted to match," Nathan said, trying very hard to keep a straight face, "Besides, it looks better that way."_

_Greg ran over and grabbed Nathan, tickling him for a moment before putting him on his shoulders._

_Both were laughing so hard that Greg didn't know till months later that Michelle had taken a picture._

"You know," Greg said, "It took Nathan's eyebrows only two weeks to grow back but mine still weren't growing. I honestly thought I was going to have to go through life without eyebrows. It wasn't until three months later that I woke up to Nathan shaving my eyebrows that I realized what was going on."

"It took you that long?" Nick asked, not knowing whether or not to laugh.

"Yeah," Greg smiled at the memory, "Nathan never let me live that one down."

It was then that that Greg laughed, causing the whole team to laugh. Even Grissom thought it was funny for a young kid to fool his dad that long. Of course, that kid had been Greg's son.

Grissom smiled and looked at the boy he considered _his_ son. He knew that Greg was hearing another laughter mixed in with the teams', and right then, he knew that "the could have been's" weren't going to be so hard to deal with anymore.

Greg stepped back and looked around and for a moment. He paused when he heard a young boy's voice whisper.

_"Promise me you'll never stop making people laugh."_

Greg looked at the team. He knew he would okay now. He was back with his family and he would never forget what joy laughter brought to the people he loved.

"I promise," Greg whispered, knowing from now on he would never break it.

And Greg knew, just like Grissom knew, that he would always have family from now on to help with "the could have been's". And Greg couldn't help but smile at the thought that he'd finally found his family, ever though they had found him a long long time ago.

"I promise Nathan."

…_you'll be alright._

_FIN, for now..._


End file.
